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I Don't Need a Dating App, I Have Imani

by Little Jackie

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1.
Dogs Elephants Sloths Alligators Frogs Porcupines Horses Salimanders Whales Kangaroos Squirrels Polar Bears Cows Orangutans Tigers I’m watching my cat, who’s staring out the window at a bird in a tree Who’s watching some people in a window screen Watching a video on a lap top, lion stalks an antelope Top of the food chain She runs in to the river, desperate for safety Fighting for survival, but her meat is tasty Not only to the lion but also to crocodiles They surface from the river I believe it’s called the Nile They bite her at the foot and drag her under water With their second jaw joint they begin the slaughter Not yet deceased, the lion partakes in the frenzied feast That’s the nature of the beast Nah nah nah nah nah nah, we’re all part of the animal kingdom Nah nah nah nah nah, we are all part of the animal kingdom Nah nah nah nah nah nah, we’re all part of the animal kingdom Nah nah nah nah nah, we are all part of the animal kingdom Ducks Jellyfish Ants Ladybugs Goats Koala Bears Dolphins I’m staring at my cat, who’s tormenting a mouse She’s got me standing on a chair, chasing it all around the house We are all exhausted, the chicken is defrosted I’m terrified to cook it, but then the rodent books it Through a crack in the tile, my cat is fucking beguiled I’m so relieved that I smile, the mouse is running for miles Dodging hawks, north american red fox Hiding in the rocks, completely shell shocked A snake eats the mouse, the hawk eats the snake The fox eats the hawk, so go ‘head have your cake Top of the food chain, please enjoy the feast Yeah we all end up deceased, that’s the nature of the beast Nah nah nah nah nah nah, we’re all part of the animal kingdom Nah nah nah nah nah, we are all part of the animal kingdom Nah nah nah nah nah nah, we’re all part of the animal kingdom Nah nah nah nah nah, we are all part of the animal kingdom Sharks Octopus Pigs Wallaby Wolves Rhinoceros Turtles Rattle Snakes Bees Butterflies Bats Caterpillars Goats Armadillos Donkey’s Manitee’s Stay Human, evolution, That’s a superpower, in the darkest hour A superpower, love is a superpower
2.
New Yorkers on dating apps Treat each other like a new restaurant They wanna eat at Something that might get 5 stars If they come in hot, lookin’ like advertised They make you split the check I think not Nobody gets the prize, no let’s go get a drink You say “gotta go”, just cut your losses Catch another match in the zone Save your dough, “Hey what’s good? I’m in your hood, you up? whatcha doin’? You wanna grab a six and kick it on your stoop? “I know it’s late but fuck it, we ain’t got nobody else Right now we’re all alone, just me and you so much that we can do” “Nah, I’m cool I’m chillin’ at home just wanna be in bed with my laptop and my phone don’t feel like giving head” OK so you struck out again, dust yourself off and hit the bar It’s only half past ten. “I’m pouring, just say when” Ooo c’mon you aint gonna die Just cause you got no love No way you’re gettin’ by tonight Ooo ooo ooo Go have yourself a good cry and some fries It’s a dry phase but someday the south shall rise again I woke up next to my friend, not feelin’ good about it Think I might have came in her ass I don’t know, maybe I should ask if she remembers something Or maybe I should wait until she bitches me out My head hurts, gotta work, I gotta get the fuck out this bed I want some breakfast, I want bacon, pancakes and eggs And a side of pussy, where’d you go my kitty cat? My little dick hole, must’ve left me when I called you fat, but in a good way My brain hurts My head hurts My body hurts My life hurts My soul hurts My penis hurts Our, our, our feelings hurt “We ain’t got nobody else Right now we’re all alone, just me and you so much that we can do” Ok, they say everything’s about sex except sex I got a reflex, checkin’ every spandex I mean heck, what the hell am I to stand next One man’s left, now she’s sitting their with pants wet And I guess a brother can’t let, another chance get in because they can’t bet, her hand left when she spam text I’m grown dog, I don’t need all the anguish. Ooo c’mon you ain’t gonna die Just cause you got no love No way you’re gettin’ by tonight Ooo ooo ooo Go have yourself a good cry and some fries It’s a dry phase but someday the south shall rise again Ooo c’mon you ain’t gonna die Just cause you got no love No way you’re gettin’ by tonight Ooo ooo ooo Go have yourself a good cry and some fries It’s a dry phase but someday the south shall rise again
3.
Um, hola me llama Imani I’m an American in a foreign country That’s just how it’s gotta be Porta Plata, Cabarete No drink the agua Yes we take dolla’ No need a taxi Si need the wifi Yo necessito, need the wifi WiFi, bye bye, gracias, night night Buenos noches, un momento Givin’ me shit cause you think I’m Dominican Mother fucker soy Negra y Italian Lo siento, yo no so the language Perfecto, and I keep mashing it with my italiano And I try but you’re speaking muy rapido, go slow mofo, go slow Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor I hate reggaeton Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Lo siento if you’re tryina be carb free If you find a vegetable consider yourself lucky Buena suerte, una puta gotta eat Pizza 1 pizza pizza 2 pizza pizza pizza 3 Uno dos tres quatro cinco cinco seis I know how to count to ten punch me in the fucking face Are you in a race to get to the end of the sentence Can you slow it down a bit I’m sorry I’m American Jamon y queso, amore es loco Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor I hate reggaeton Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Uno dos tres dros’ Aye dios Mio Quatro cinco seis ocho Uno dos tres dros’ Aye dios mio Quatro cinco seis ocho Domenicana te quiero Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor I hate reggaeton Esta loca es amor Esta loca es amor
4.
I’m growing out my nails, I’m working on my waist line Everything I learned about being female To please you, I learned from a drag queen Expectations are high, you’re raising the bar And so am I, I give up, I’m throwing in the towel It’s your turn to try, try bitch, try bitch, just fucking try I don’t cry anymore I’m on Prozac, you’re never gonna fuck me up No fucks to give, no gives to fuck Fuck them boys fuck them boys I’m on Prozac, I’m invincible, I’m a program, unfuckwithable I’m working on my Snatch Game, female impersonating Everything I learned about my “big pink furry box” I learned from a drag queen, expectations are low So I’m uppy up upping the anti depressies Strike a match, light a camp fire I’ll tell you all of my ghost stories, ever since I hit my forties The way to get a mans attention is to ignore them You won’t cry anymore I’m on Prozac, you’re never gonna fuck me up No fucks to give, no gives to fuck Fuck them boys fuck them boys I’m on Prozac, I’m invincible, I’m a program, unfuckwithable
5.
I grew up in the 80’s, I have a basic pussy Identify as female, my pronouns are her/she I am simply hetero, now-a-days that makes me queer I’ve always been the weirdo but now I am the new weird Straight is the new gay, I want a parade It’s actually not that fair but I literally don’t care Say what I want to say, Why? Explain I was born cancelled, mixed race, no place Bullied by both sides, Mom black, Dad white Mom was called a spear chucker Dad was called a nigger lover I am called bi-polar by every tinder mother fucker Hella woke genderless inclusive vegan sausage party Fully vaxxined happy hour social gathering Masked up sanitized hands passing weed vapes ENM NDA consensual Covid rape Sex Positive, body positive, rapid and PCR positive Whoops my apologies, My mistake, hope for mild symptoms Maybe you’ll just get a headache Fever, body aches, no taste Yo, stop bludgeoning me with “Be Blessed Appreciate” Gratitude is platitude, about the love and not the hate I call horse shit, hogwash, poppycock, Balderdash, cogswallow, balderdash, balls, bosh Say it out loud, “I’m ungrateful and proud!” Pain and suffering in poverty, hopeless future, inequality Say it out loud, “I’m ungrateful and proud!” Pain and suffering in poverty, hopeless future, inequality Little green bags of dog shit, baking on the side walk I’m making it a class thing, cause you won’t find a trash can In fact there never is one if your neighborhood is low income You won’t get none Black people, brown people, lots of white young people People doing people things, people need receptacles People love animals, people have pets Cat people, Dog people, need a place to put the shit GrubHub, DoorDash, PostMates, UberEats, Cyclists, motorists ring down the street Frantically delivering hot food to the high people Get it there instantly, get that tip, get that money honey Fuck it if you hit a bitch, fuck the laws of traffic Blow every red light, stop sign then eat a dick! Say it out loud, “I’m ungrateful and proud!” Pain and suffering in poverty, hopeless future, inequality Say it out loud, “I’m ungrateful and proud!” Pain and suffering in poverty, hopeless future, inequality Say it out loud, “I’m ungrateful and proud!” Pain and suffering in poverty, hopeless future, inequality Say it out loud, “I’m ungrateful and proud!” Pain and suffering in poverty, hopeless future, inequality
6.
Vaginamite 03:37
It’s an act of domestic terrorism Prime example of white male egotism This pussy is vaginamite It’ll blow you up like dynamite Yeah, this uterus retaliates You will feel the wrath and see the rage Put it in a cage and when you lock that box You’re blocking your own cock ha Good luck getting laid, layeeeeeiiiiayaid Good luck getting laid You out your privilege when you over turned Roe v Wade Ah way way way to go mofo I got explosives in my cho cho And I’ma blow your shit up Cause my pussy is vaginamite It’ll blow you up like dynamite dynamite way to go mofo I got explosives in my fuck hole and it’ll blow your shit up like dynamite dynamite ah ah ah You’re about to get lesson in Nihilism Demonizing women like we need an exorcism It’s not our fault you can’t control your weapons It’s not our fault you can’t maintain an erection You’ll get your payback, I’m giving this to you It’s my middle finger, yes you can have it too But lets just talk about rape for a minute I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t been through it Sexually assaulted, it’s always our fault is it? Our problem cause you can’t control your penis Think of your Grandmother, think of your Daughter Think of your Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Daughters Way way way to go mofo I got explosives in my cho cho And I’ma blow your shit up Cause my pussy is vaginamite It’ll blow you up like dynamite dynamite way to go mofo I got explosives in my fuck hole and it’ll blow your shit up like dynamite dynamite way way way to go mofo I got explosives in my cho cho And I’ma blow your shit up Cause my pussy is vaginamite It’ll blow you up like dynamite dynamite way to go mofo I got explosives in my fuck hole and it’ll blow your shit up like dynamite dynamite ah ah ah My pussy’s property of the United States “Let’s finally put them bitches in their mother fucking place, Get ‘em back for all the hashtag me too’s, Make them feel as small as our dicks do” But my pussy is vaginamite, It’ll blow you up like dynamite Take cover, cause we’re comin’ we’re comin’ for you, we’re comin’ for you way way way to go mofo I got explosives in my cho cho And I’ma blow your shit up Cause my pussy is vaginamite It’ll blow you up like dynamite dynamite way to go mofo I got explosives in my fuck hole and it’ll blow your shit up like dynamite dynamite ah ah ah

credits

released September 5, 2022

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Little Jackie Brooklyn, New York

Here is the link to the cock block video!


www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BqdibgOcSU

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